Too little too late
by LadyPalma
Summary: Post S6 CS - Isobel is married with Lord Merton when she hears from Violet that Doctor Calrkson is the one being actually ill. Implied Richobel, but do not expect a happy ending.


_**Too little too late**_

She never saw it coming, not so soon, not in a million years actually. But yet it came, it rained over her completely and it found her unprepared. For a moment, a long painful moment, she stopped breathing and felt that she was going to die, when actually it was _him_ the one close to die instead. She remained silent and still for a short while, until suddenly she lost her fragile attempt of control and broke down. It was a painful, aching and desperate cry, one that she had made only three other times in her whole life: for her father's death, for Reginald, for Matthew… And now for _him_. The last one of the men she had loved was leaving her as well and now she had to endure both the realizations – the love and the loss – in the same moment.

"It's imp- impossible…" she simply stuttered, shaking her head weakly.

From the opposite armchair, Violet cleared her throat but then remained silent. What could she possibly say anyway? She held back the snarky remark that he was human and so it was only in his nature to die; she knew that her cousin did not deserve that, no matter how badly she had been acting lately toward the poor man in question. Honestly, she was unprapared too at that reaction and she didn't know what to think of it. She had been supportive of Lord Merton and she had been the one to push the two of them together because she thought that this was what Isobel wanted, but now that devasting reaction was telling a whole different story.

When she had discovered about Dickie's illness she was heartbroken, but now, oh now, she was _hysterical_.

"He was fine just the other day and now..." Isobel trailed off, as another sob escaped her mouth. "He- He has always been there for me, you know?"

Violet just nodded slowly, deciding to refuse an immediate answer once again. She herself knew that very well, it was her cousin in her humble opinion that had seemed to forget it one too many times instead.

"Maybe it's time that you be there for him, don't you think?" she suggested then, as gently as she could, not hiding though the little hint of reproachment in her light eyes.

Isobel grasped that hint completely and it made her cry even harder. After all, she knew herself her own mistakes, her own neglects and her own wrongs. She had been wrong all along. What she could do to fix things anyway? Being his nurse, expressing her silent and buried love for him, running to him and never leave his side? Of course not, now that she was married she was left with few choices. But she had at least to say goodbye and surely owed him an apology.

She probably could have done _nothing_ to fix him, but she would have tried _everything_.

* * *

It was kinda ironic to think that it was the first time in all those years that she was showing up at his cottage, but that was a realization that made her feel even worse. If she had actually thought more, if she had cared about him more, if… But there was no time for what ifs, not when the frontdoor was suddenly opened and she was greeted by a polite smile. Of course it was not him and it was not his smile; instead, standing in front of her there was a woman of about her own age with blonde hair and somehow familiar blue eyes.

He needed someone to take care of him after all, and that someone wasn't – and couldn't be – herself.

"Good morning, I am Mrs Crawley and I am here to see Doctor Clarkson…"

"Oh." That was the simple first reaction that her introduction obtained. But then the other woman's face hardened and her tone became evidently harsher. "I am his sister and I am afraid he doesn't want to see you. He expressly told me that, I'm sorry"

Isobel blinked a few times, as she stopped breathing for the second time in two days. It was not like she couldn't believe that excuse, because actually she could, she could believe very much and that awareness was unavoidably destroying her. She didn't move and didn't speak for several seconds, at least not until Richard's sister made the hint to close the door and therefore desperation obliged her to act fast.

"Please!" she exclaimed,raising a hand to prevent the door from closing. "Please, I just need to tell him that-"

"Tell him what?" Ms Clarkson cut her off, looking clearly annoyed now.

That she had made a mistake in marrying another man – but that would have been unfair now.

That she loved him – but she didn't have any right to do so.

That she was ready to be by his side until the end – but that was a promise she couldn't keep.

That she was sorry – but that was not even slightly close to be enough.

" _That I've been a fool_ " she just whispered, her voice full of a letal mix of regret and sorrow.

But the other woman didn't show any sympathy for that and just let out a heavy sigh. "I believe he already knows that."

Isobel's face fell once again, as did her hand and so the door was finally closed for good. She was left alone with the single empty comfort of her own tears and the unbearable awareness that whatever she could have offered, it wouldn't have been accepted anyway.

 _It was just too little too late._

* * *

 ** _I'm sorry that this is the first Richobel thing I was able to write after the CS, but it HAD to be something like this. Given the way things went with Merton, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if it was Richard the one to get seriously ill then... I am not okay with our good doctor ending up alone and most of all being treated like a stranger, so I decided that Isobel had to suffer a little. I hope you liked it, despite the sadness._**


End file.
